Family Tree: Tamar | It’s complicated | Greg Ford | One Church
ICEBREAKER
Share something about your Thanksgiving?
MESSAGE NOTES
The Family Tree
[Genesis 1:1-3]
This is a record of the ancestors of Jesus the Messiah, a descendant of David and of Abraham:
2 Abraham was the father of Isaac. Isaac was the father of Jacob. Jacob was the father of Judah and his brothers. 3 Judah was the father of Perez and Zerah (whose mother was Tamar).
Genesis 38 :: Tamar :: It’s complicated :: 2100 BC
Culture: Tamar lived in a day & culture where a woman didn’t have any choice as to who she would marry. The event was orchestrated by other people who had little if any regard for her mental, physical, or emotional attraction to a man. A woman’s most important function was seen as baring children, who would perpetuate the family line. To ensure that the children belonged to her husband, a bride was expected to be a virgin, and was expected to have sexual relations with only him. If a wife committed adultery she could be executed.
Characters: Judah, Er, Onan
Tamar came into a family that was already dysfunctional, fractured
When you are thrust into complex dysfunctional situations you find yourself living in your survival instincts. You say and do whatever you need to do to survive. It’s a primal version of yourself that driven by fear and sometimes its happening so fast you don’t even have the ability in the moment to measure all of the ramifications of your actions, right and wrong, black and white become very gray and you are just struggling to make it through each moment.
If you have lived in such a way, there will inevitably be in situations where you will say and do things in a moment that you look back in he-insight and regret.
This is not about shifting blame it’s about eliminating shame
In chaos people are put in situations where they have to scramble. Give a lot of grace. It’s doesn’t mean everything was right, it means everything was complicated. Best bad options. It made sense at the time. I was backed into a corner. I justified it. I did what I felt was right. I see more clearly now. Give others the same grace. (Judah’s words about “she was more right that I”)
[Genesis 38:26]
Judah … said, "She is more righteous than I am …”
Forgiveness
Putting both them and you in the hand of God
Forgiving, not getting stuck
Grace
Weakness
Ignorance
Deception
What causes hopelessness to set in…
Expecting an equal or greater amount of good.
God … killed her husbands
Er… probably not a very good husband
Brother in law … spilled the seed
Judah … could’ve let her out of the “widow”
Society … misogynistic culture
Self … somehow in some weird way we feel responsible
There’s stuff you don’t understand Judah thought she killed his sons
A complicated story does not equal a ruined life.
A bad chapter doesn’t ruin a great book.
A complicated backstory does not doom your future story. This is the lineage of Jesus!
This is the lineage of the Messiah. The Chosen One. The great I am. Bread of life. The wonderful counselor.
That is part of the backstory of the alpha and the omega. The king of kings and lord of lords. The lamb of God. The true vine.
Your backstory may contain unspeakable acts, but your future story is still being written. Head/clap…don’t your dare believe that lie that you need a squeaky clean lineage to be used by God.
Why did Matthew call out these women in particular? It seems like he was trying to get us to think about these stories, specifically. After all, it wouldn’t have been normal for a woman’s name to be listed in a genealogy. Jesus came from a family filled with unlikely people, including outcasts and harlots. Through this, Jesus tells us that he celebrates and loves the unlikely people — ones he can turn into unlikely heroes. After all, they’re his family!
You are not one story. You are a compilation of Stories.
Grace-Forgiveness-Healing-Hope
A bad chapter doesn’t ruin a great book.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
As you hear the story of Tamar, can you identify areas in your own life or family that need grace, forgiveness, healing or hope? Share if you feel comfortable.
What is something complicated in your family that was passed down from generation to generation that still effect your family today? Is there anyone you need to forgive, including yourself?
What is something in your life that needs God's healing?
Where are you on the pathway to Hope?
How does it make you feel to know Jesus' lineage was complicated too?