But That’s What I Want

Don’t tell me what to do, I got this.
I don’t need your help.
I’ll figure it out, I always do eventually.
Why do you care what I do? Do you want something from me?
Worry about yourself, I’ll worry about myself.
I’m tired of you always breathing down my neck, just let it go! 

Have you heard these statements before? Perhaps you have used a few, maybe all of them. What is fascinating about these few fragmented sentences are who we say them to. When making a reply such as these, it’s not to acquaintances, it is usually when someone who cares about us as people are asking about our wellbeing. Yet, for some reason, we often don’t want the help that is being offered. So instead of receiving the love and the message presented to us, we fire back. We lash out. It could be because we’ve been burned in the past by those close to us, pride is getting in the way of opening up, or you flat out do not trust anyone but yourself with your deepest desires. So when deciding what you want and need in every day scenarios, it becomes an individual endeavor. You lean on your own understanding to get where you’re supposed to be in life, or so you thought. We start at a young age, and thus the cyclical journey of successes and failures begins. 

Growing up, I had many insecurities. I hid them, never talked about them, and if I did it was done sparingly. Nobody wants to appear weak. Acne plagued my face, back, and chest and crushed my self-esteem. I was a ‘jock’ but never fit into that clique; I was more attuned to obtaining knowledge, reading and being outdoors than I was memorizing stat lines for Derek Jeter’s performance against the Red Sox that weekend. Speaking in public was avoided if at all possible, because what if I said the wrong thing in front of the wrong person? The repercussions could include anything from being ripped on by my fellow students to being completely embarrassed and wanting to go home for the rest of the day. My parents wanted to be a help to me, but they could only help so much. I was unwilling to talk about my struggles. I was often not adherent to the positive advice provided. I knew what was best for me, so I thought, and that’s what I was going to pursue. Why would I want my dad to tell me what I want? That seems counterintuitive. Sure, I’m his son and I wouldn’t be on this earth without him, but we’re really not that similar. How could he ever know what needs I have in order to be successful in MY own mind? Of course, as I grew older and matured, it became quite evident that all of those things my parents tried to tell me…well…they were right.  

We often want to be “the man with the plan”

The struggles and difficulties that my earthly father had with me are in fact eerily similar to the same resistance I gave to my heavenly Father. We often want to be “the man with the plan” because it shows, so we think, that we have our lives together. If you have a plan, you must know what you’re doing, right? Not always. In fact, most of the time even when we have a goal set with a plan with benchmarks and the lot, we still have no idea what the outcome will be. God knows this about us, and it is why he gave us the incredible gift of the Holy Spirit.  

The concept of the Holy Spirit can be a complicated one. Is it a ghost? Can I see it, touch it? It’s none of those things, however, much like other undertakings and ventures a true understanding of it does not take place over night. As Christians and those seeking Christ, we get frustrated. We get tired of waiting for the outcomes we worked so diligently towards to turn out properly.

“Sometimes resentment against God can build up because we try so hard to follow his teachings and the Bible, and yet…our expectations are still not met. Patience is a virtue, so they say.”

One that I was not blessed with. However, if you can commit a paradigm shift in thinking and replace the word patience with faith, then you’re going somewhere. And that somewhere is closer and closer to Christ. In Psalm chapter 37, verses 3 through 8 it says:  

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.  

What the passage is saying is that if you commit yourself to the Lord, your wants will be His wants for you. Your needs will be His needs for you. You must simply trust that He will do so. Have faith. If you do, it’ll happen. Create the foundation and commit to Christ, now all you must do is build upon that. It reminds me of the movie ‘Field of Dreams’ when Kevin Costner was told, “If you build it, they will come.” If you continue to build and mature in Christ, the Spirit will come. The wants and needs will come to you, and be fulfilled. But when? It’s my dream, and I want it now! Well…this isn’t JG Wentworth. This is God, and He wants nothing but what is best for you. But, there’s one caveat to remember: It will happen in His time. Why? Because it’s the right time for you. You may get impatient. You may not understand why you lost your job. You may not comprehend why it is that you have still yet to find a mate. Or why a close family member had to die at a very young age. The Word provides clarity. In Corinthians Chapter 2 it talks about the Spirit of God knowing the thoughts of God and how His will is passed onto us through the Holy Spirit. We must allow God to work in us and to teach us what we need, and when we need it. The only way to acquire this is by wanting to live life in His will and not your own. Do that, and it’ll all work out. I promise. But don’t take my word for it, take His Word for it.  

Stay blessed, much love. 


I also encourage you to speak to a pastor, an elder in the church, and/or watch the messages entitled, “The Gift” by clicking the link below to get more clarity and a bigger picture. 


andrew-lovelace-bio-pictureAndrew R. Lovelace obtained a Bachelor of Arts Degree in History from Bluffton University and an MBA from Wright State University with a Focus In Marketing.  He is a C. Henry Smith Scholar and licensed in Adult/Young Adult 7-12 Integrated Social Studies.   Andrew is an Educator, Coach, Financial Advisor and Musician.  You can find him on Facebook, Twitter and IG @drulove3

0 replies

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *