4 Reasons People Don’t Do Marriage Counseling & Why I Think They Should Change Their Mind.

In my experience, I’ve found that people don’t do marriage counseling for 1 of 4 reasons…

  1. They are embarrassed & ashamed.
  2. They know they are doing something wrong & don’t want to hear it confirmed by a 3rd party.
  3. They have lost hope.
  4. They think they can’t afford it

Here are my responses…

  1. Every marriage needs counseling including your boy (me) & his girl.  You are not alone.  You are in good company.  Don’t let your pride prevent you from making a heroic decision.  Get help.
  2. If somebody broke into your house & threatened your family you would fight valiantly.  So, why would you knowingly turn a blind eye to a problem that has the potential to tear your family apart?  Think of your problem like an intruder.  You are too courageous to ignore that kind of threat.  Fight!
  3. No marriage is hopeless.  It takes only 2 people willing to act right and keep fighting.  It can’t be 1…it has to be 2 reasonable, resilient, and willing people.  It may FEEL hopeless, but it’s NOT hopeless.  Start today.  On the other side is something beautiful.  It can be better than it’s ever been.
  4. You can afford it.  Money represents value.  Whatever you spend your money on is what you value most. I encourage you to look closely at your finances & do whatever it takes to find the money.  Here are some ideas…
    • Downgrade your cell phone plan
    • Cancel your cable
    • Sell one of your cars
    • Sell your house & move into something less expensive
    • Don’t eat out for 6 months
    • Take a less expensive vacation or none at all
    • Don’t buy new clothes for 6 months
    • Cancel your gym membership & workout at home

If you have kids that are old enough to understand sit them down & say, “We are going through a hard time in our marriage, but don’t worry we are not going to quit. We need to move some money around so that we can afford to get some help.”  Show them how you are reprioritizing. 

  1. They won’t be surprised that your marriage is struggling. 
  2. They will be thrilled to know that you are fighting. 
  3. You will teach them how to handle marriage problems when they have them someday. 
  4. They won’t resent the budget cuts when they know why.
  5. They will go to bed that night more secure than when they woke up that morning.
  6. Even if they act nasty about it, they will see it differently when they are adults.

Here’s a link to some marriage lessons that Shaylyn & I learned from the school of hard knocks… Till Death Do Us Part

There’s my 2 cents. 


written by: Pastor Greg Ford, March 2017

Pastor Greg Ford is the Lead Pastor of One Church. The Fords are a family of five. Besides Greg & Shaylyn, there’s Ella, Hudson, and Miles. They claim that their family is complete, but who knows…with God all things are possible.

1 reply
  1. James
    James says:

    Great post. Having come from a broken home, I wish these steps could have been humbly implemented into my parents marriage sooner. Thanks Greg!


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